I am Simon. I am Fifteen. Months.

Hello and welcome to another edition of the Monthly World Report by Simon!

I know I missed last month. Things have been really busy. But we'll get you all up to date with the important happenings of the world!

Here is my 14 month portrait. I decided to hang out with my buddies Ernie and Bert, while wearing my Mr. Rogers sweater. We're a pretty awesome children's entertainment combo.

This is my best impression of a walrus. They're actually Xylitol teeth cleaning wipes.

Auntie Kathy got me a cool set of Ooga Booga diapers. They even come with matching slippers!

Mommy was trying to teach me to use my spoon from the bowl. I thought it would be easier to just eat directly out of it instead!

Then we went to the farmer's market. Of course I had to dress up as a farmer for the occasion!

Yo, get that outta my face!!

This is what I look like right after I have a colossal sneeze. I got pretty sick for a while.

So I turned to Yoga to help me get better! Downward dog anyone? I can give lessons if anyone is interested.

Mommy got a little sloppy, so I had to feed her for a while to build up her skills again.

Here I am sharing a little moment with my future wife, Claire. (My future wife according to Daddy, at least)

Beethoven? Billy Joel? Elton John? No wait... not Elton John. No way. We'll stick with Beethoven. I heard Beethoven also started on a Playskool toy piano.

Daddy was putting on my diaper when I decided to pull it right off and play with it before he had a chance to fasten it all together.

I had my first trip to IKEA! I was giving mommy and daddy professional advice on how to choose a chair. First... find red tags as they usually are a good deal. Second, sit on chair. Third, chew on Lamby's leg.

It is I... Juan Carlos... making another appearance and saying hola to the ladies again. My schedule is already full of dates but I'll let you know if a spot opens up.

I'm a bit like Daddy... I can get really excited around food. Or the smell of food. Or the thought of food.

I got an infection and grew three warts on my face. Actually, they're millet puffs.

I'm not too keen on the hair dryer. It dries my scalp and requires me to use a remineralizing conditioner, as well as good moisturizer to prevent my T-zone from getting too dry.

I'm getting better and better at brushing my teeth. Brush twice a day to keep the dentist away! Or was than an apple? Or was that a doctor? Maybe it was a janitor? I dunno. Something like that.

Here I am climbing mount everest in my polar expedition outfit. All serious polar explorers wear cute, fluffy polar bear suits.

My auntie Grace came to visit! We had lots and lots of fun; she's as silly as me!

I got to drive my dozer at the mall again! But I was so tired that I just held Lamby the whole time. I drove the dozer using The Force, that of which is very strong within me. Only mere mortals drive with their hands.

I rode my mini wagon right into the corner. I had no where else to go so I just sat here in the corner. Alone. By myself.

I'm SOOO proud of my bottom four teeth!

You wanna see what it looks like to intensely watch the Wiggles while eating a banana? Well, you're looking at it. Look and learn... look and learn.

We went for an awesome brunch at the Fairmont Hotel MacDonald. The food was amazing, except they certainly lacked my type of food: a good selection of foods smashed together in the blender into an unrecognizable pulp.

Just your typical morning: enjoying brunch while reading the (electronic) newspaper. I just need a pipe and slippers to complete the outfit.

We then went to Bueno for some Gelato! Unfortunately, their gelato machine broke so they only had four flavours to choose from. Fortunately, the flavours they DID have were great because they were 100% made by hand the old fashioned way! Yum!

Later we took a walk to our favourite coffee shop! I brought my own food, but I can get away with it because I'm so cute. It was actually raining when we left! (As opposed to snowing, like it is right now!)

I thought I'd show off some of my modeling moves for the camera!

BIG milestone! My right index finger was formally introduced to my right nostril this month! It met my left nostril a couple days later.

And this is what I look like when I'm too tired to eat. Hey, even superheros with superpowers need some sleep now and then!

Speaking of superpowers, my superpower of eating by myself with a spoon made some great improvements this month! Sometimes I still miss my mouth, but hey, even Superman misses a punch now and then.

And then we move into my 15th month!!! I thought 15 was a nice round number to shoot together with my best friend, Lamby!

Here I am!

And there is Lamby!

Setting up for the attack...

CHARGE!!!!

And it's an NFL worthy takedown!!!

Nobody loves Lamby like I do!

Ladies and gentlemen, to kick off this month, let me introduce you to my new stroller. I miss my amazing BOB stroller, but due to the unexpected news of a little super sister on the way, we needed to get something that could be converted to a double stroller. You know, so when she arrives, I can push mommy and daddy around town while collapsed from exhaustion. I do just about everything around here...

...including the role of Household Health Inspector! Gotta make sure the standards of these vitamins are up to snuff! My super muscles aren't gonna be satisfied with the mediocre stuff!

In this cup is an amazing concoction of saliva and dust. Almost FDA approved.

I love grapefruit! And the best way to eat grapefruit is shirtless! But then again, when you're built this well, everything is better shirtless.

I love my zoo season's pass! We went to go see Bob Barker's favourite elephant, Lucy.

She was out for a stroll! An elephant on snow. Not a common sight!

This month I've REALLY developed my walking skills! If daddy could keep up with me, I'd probably progress faster! I'm tired of waiting for him to catch up!

[begin Mr. T voice] I want some food blended up now, FOOL! Don't make me wait! [end Mr. T voice]

As good as I am, I still need some help with the tooth brushing. I can't wait until I'm old enough to do it myself. Then I'll just wet the brush and SAY I did it.

I always help daddy do the grocery shopping. I am the official food taster. Well... more like, the official cardboard, paper, plastic, and metal taster. But I still do my part.

Just one more fence to climb to get out of this town!!! Nah... we'll never leave. Daddy like it here too much.

Enjoying a beautiful sunset stroll. I take mommy and daddy out for walks when they behave properly.

Well, that wraps up this edition of the Monthly World Report! Sorry it was so long winded, but hopefully we don't miss another month. Please say hello below! I'm looking forward to talking to you all next month!

This is Simon, signing off!